


Zoey and Spongebob

by Nocticola



Series: Ace/Aro characters [68]
Category: Sawkill Girls -Claire Legrand
Genre: Acephobia, And other fun things you can be subjected to by being ace online, Because of those themes this is rated T, Canon Asexual Character, Emotional self harm, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, I hope to write a happier fic for Zoey but this is my inspiration now so, Internalized Acephobia, Mentioned suicide baiting, Post-Break Up, Self Loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22970905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola
Summary: After Zoey realizes she never wants to have sex again, she gets on the Internet.
Series: Ace/Aro characters [68]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/651800
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Zoey and Spongebob

After Zoey and Grayson had sex, afterwards she knew she never, ever, wanted to do that again. So, instead of leading Grayson on, letting him hope something like that might happen again, she broke up with him. It tore her up inside, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Grayson deserves better than that.

And even though he is clearly hurt, he accepts their break up. Zoey isn't sure whether she should be happy or sad about that. Mostly it doesn't matter. She wants to know what is going on with her, so she goes to the Internet.

It was the wrong thing to do, but she already feels like shit and she's not really in the mood to feel better. So she clicks on all the articles claiming to be able to fix her. They talk about hormone levels, trying different things, even just laying there and taking it. Everything she reads tells her she was right to break up with Grayson. Because she just does not want to do any of it, but Grayson, as sweet as he is, might want her to.

It gets slightly better when she actually finds articles talking about asexuality. She saves up dozens of articles, waiting for the day she feels more comfortable seeing herself in that way. But now, she wants to just wallow in self loathing. Even through asexuality, the Internet is perfectly willing to help her do that. 

'Asexual are just broken.' 'They are just special snowflakes trying to be interesting.' 'No one's ever been killed for being asexual so they don't belong.' 'They steal all our resources!' 'They should all kill themselves.'

That finally gets her to logout from the Internet. At least for a while. 

For such a long time, fandom has been an important outlet for her, so she decides to check if it could help her. After a short search, she does find a list of canon asexual characters. The list isn't long, and most of the characters don't inspire her at the moment. She's not sure what she's looking for, until she sees a smiley yellow sea sponge. 

**'Spongebob Asexual, Not Gay' says creator** was one article linked in the list.

"I like Spongebob," she says quietly to herself.

That is the thing that gets her out of her room for the first time in hours. She walks lethargically to the living room, a blanket covering her body head to toe, her face barely visible. She vaguely notes that her Dad is home. He knows about the break up, so he hasn't bothered her all day. As she settles on the couch to look up all the Spongebob content on Netflix, her father just puts her favorite ice cream in front of her on the table. Zoey manages to smile at him a bit. 

"I'm here if or when you need me," he tells her. She just nods. 

She's not gonna tell him the real reason for the break up. She doesn't know whether he'd understand. She's not quite sure she understands yet. 

The rest of her day is spent watching Spongebob. Sometimes it makes her laugh, gets her to forget all the bad things going on in her life. Sometimes she can feel her Dad's eyes on her but he just keeps her supplied with a seemingly endless supply of ice cream and other junk food. She's grateful for that. 

Hours later, after he says good night to her and goes to bed, Zoey stares at the paused screen of eternally happy looking Spongebob. 

"It's easy for you to be asexual. You're a sea sponge. That's how you reproduce," she mumbles from the safety of her blanket. 

"But you're happy. Maybe that means, I can be happy, too," she tries to take comfort in those words. But she's not there yet.

She finishes the episode and goes to bed. She cries over Grayson, which alerts her Dad and he comforts her until she falls asleep. 

A few days later, Grayson asks to hang out with her again. It's not quite what she wants, but she's willing to take it. She's not ready to lose more people.


End file.
